Andrew Strauss is quite content to let the ball float harmlessly past the off-stump, rather than haul out the pre-meditated paddle and smear it behind square.

Deep long-on, deep long-off, deep extra cover and a vacant slip cordon are the furtherest thing from Chris Gayle's mind. Three slips and a gully make up the barricade to Denesh Ramdin's left, there is a short-leg in place and the rest of the field placements are an attacking affair. Short fine-leg will not come into play today and batsmen won't dare scamper a single to shallow mid-off.

David Lloyd and Nick Knight drone on about the weather, pitch conditions and the growing attendance. There is no talk of dugout shenanigans, cavorting cheerleaders or 'DLF Maximums' and 'Citi Moments Of Success'. Nauseating duo Danny Morrison and Simon Doull are nowhere to be seen.

Deccan Chargers logos and Kolkata Knight Riders insignia are left south of the equator and Fidel Edwards and Chris Gayle are clad in full, pristine whites.

Seven overs into the innings, the run-rate sits at a lowly 3.7 and England are not at all fazed. They've got today's 90 overs and beyond ahead of them, if they last. Quick runs are not the pained priority that befalls batsmen at Kingsmead and the Wanderers.

The first official break will arrive after two hours into play - a deserved 40-minute interval, not an obligatory seven-and-a-half-minute slave to advertising.

The crowd is a calm, purist collective. No-one is dressed like a chicken, painted smurf-blue or rolling around on the grass embankment in a beer-enduced frolic.

Only genuine spin will be on display over the next five days. Suliemann Benn and Graeme Swann will turn their arms over tirelessly for hours on end for their ability to take wickets. Captains Gayle or Strauss are not going to toss the ball to part-time hopeful Devon Smith or recreational trundler Cook in the hope of a bonus wicket. That sort of thing is best left to Brad Hodge and the like many a mile away.

There is no PA announcer or resident DJ lauding the first boundary of the day - a classic drive through the covers courtesy the England captain. Strauss' departure soon thereafter too is not met with that obsessive trumpeting or a trio of lovely lasses to give him a scantily-clothed sendoff. There is no theme song to herald the arrival of Ravi Bopara too the crease.

Nasser Hussain - SkySports' 'Third Man' steps to the fore. He has time to dissect Strauss' dismissal, picking apart the left-hander's inability to see off some consistent away-swing. Hussain does this once and Bopara's leisurely stride out to the middle affords the analyst the opportunity to mull over replay after replay for the viewer's enjoyment. There is no rush. The game isn't hastened along in a bid to get the second half of the double-header underway on time.

Jerome Taylor is six overs into his opening spell. He hasn't been yanked out of the attack after his first three, or for that matter, two overs. He isn't limited to a mere 24-delivery allotment today. He has as many overs as his skipper will allow to work the batsmen out, rather than hope that there is a man stationed in the deep when the inevitable aerial stroke ensues.

Like it or not, the Indian Premier League takes a back seat to Test match cricket for the next while. Hooray for that.